The Gift of Mattering

Spring has arrived and in the past few months I have received a number of incredible gifts. To be honest, it is a little difficult to share how these gifts have made me feel. My first thought was something like "I can't believe it..." This was quickly followed by feelings of warmth, love, gratitude, and most importantly, humility. "I did that?"

Those who know me understand I'm a bit of a sentimental. I pin my work - my calling - and the experiences of others on my heart. I'm not ashamed to admit that while writing this, more than a tear or two has been shed - it just means so much.

Before I share my gifts with you, there are three points I need to make. When you see the gifts I received you will understand...

Care more than others think is wise. This notion is part of a larger quote that has guided my work for a number of years. Don't be limited by what others may think - the investment of your heart is worth it. Yes, you will be disappointed and at times hurt - but care more than others think is wise.

We must be relational in all that we do. Our RA staff, our student desk staff, our Administrative Assistants and Custodians, our trade-craft crew, our supervisees - and yes even our every day student - these are our colleagues. Yes, there are most certainly times when you must be direct - times when "no" is the best answer - when people may push every one of your buttons. Remember that every single person matters - and they need to know they matter. How you do your work will help them be better professionals, colleagues, people. These people matter.

Teams are not built through the indomitable will of the person in the room with the biggest title. They are built through trust, normalization of conflict, commitment to each other and the intended outcomes, mutual accountability, and a commitment to results. And it takes work and care-

For you who are reading this - you matter. I sincerely hope you have heard/felt it. Where ever and who ever you are - please know that you do matter. And to those who have given the gifts I have received - thank you - I cannot say how much these notes have meant to me. You have helped me remember that I too matter~ 

And the gifts I have received:

From Alison: Troy - Personally, I know that my college experience was deeply enriched by that couch. I wouldn't be the person I am right now without that couch. But really, we all know "couch" is really just code for "amazing mentor sitting across from you while you sat on the couch and talked/laughed/vented/sobbed".  Miss you so much, Troy.

From Laura: Troy -From a perpetual couch-sitter...someone who didn't think she could ever make it...  Someone who got flowers on her graduation day from someone stationed across the world. Someone whose life was changed by you. 

From Emily: Troy - You gave me this perfect little tidbit [quote from Citizenship in a Republic speech] just as I was starting my last semester of college. I have never forgotten it and still it pushes me to try, to fail, and to dare. For this and a million other things, thanks. 

From Gretchen: Troy! Hello! I'm in a communication course and this week where we're dealing with the people who are important to us that we care about- and you are on my list. I want to connect with you and share about what's happening in life! What's a number I can call to reach you? Love, Gretchen

From Andy: Also wanted to thank you more in general terms for your commitment to mentoring and helping people grow in ways that they might not even know that they needed to. If that makes sense? I feel that our conversations helped me put form and structure to what we did.